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When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked her what she had stolen from the store.The lady defiantly replied, "Just a stupid can of peaches."The judge then asked why she had done it.She replied, "I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store."The judge asked how many peaches were in the can.She replied in a nasty tone, "Nine! But why do you care about that?"The judge answered patiently, "Well, ma'am, because I'm going to give you nine days in jail -- one day for each peach."As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady's long-suffering husband raised his hand slowly and asked if he might speak.The judge said, "Yes sir, what do you have to add?"The husband said meekly, "Your Honor, she also stole a can of peas."Square TesticlesAn elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Ireland one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.After many. I started to hold her hands for the slow dance, but she flung my hands to the side and put her arms around me. She held me tight. I held her tight. Her warm body felt wonderful next to me. After the dance, we went back to our chairs and continued the conversation. When the band took a break about an hour later, I asked her if she wanted to go get some fresh air. She said yes like she was waiting too long for me to ask. Seconds later we were walking out of the bar with me behind her, and that was the first time I got to look at her ass. Very nice!We walked outside into the warm summer night air. The place was on a waterfront, and we made small talk as we walked, then stopped to lean on the railing and look out over the water. Very soon after that we were deep french kissing like we were both starving for love. It was probably the longest and most intense kissing session I have ever had. We must have kept it up for a couple of hours. No k**ding. Near the end of our time.
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